Jag gillar kloka hjärnor

Nu minns jag inte var jag fick det ifrån, men jag har för mig att det var nån 10-åring som vann en aforism-tävling (detta känns som om jag kan ha läst igår kväll i VI läser-tidningen om Björn Ranelid, men jag kan ha fel) med följande:

Ingen människa är så liten att hon inte når upp till sitt eget hjärta. En 10-åring!

Här kommer fler klokheter. Gillar formatet: Roligt och kort.

(Apropå roligt och kort måste jag bara berätta en galghumoristisk sak som vår hemlärare Mattias K berättade för oss igår. Han var ute med missionärerna vid ett tillfälle och de knackade på en dörr där en 17-åring öppnade. Killen blev helt till sig och sa: För en stund sen mådde jag väldigt dåligt och jag bad faktiskt till Gud, och så kommer ni här! Wow! Han bjöd in dem och missionärerna började berätta. Men när de hade förklarat vad Mormons bok var och frågade honom om han ville läsa ett stycke i den, svarade killen: "Nej, det är så tråkigt att läsa. Och förresten mår jag bättre nu, så ni kan gå.")

Här kommer klokheterna:

 - I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn’t work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
– Do not argue with an idiot.  He will drag you down to his level and beat you with experience.
– I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
– Going to church doesn’t make you a Christian any more than standing in a garage makes you a car.
– The last thing I want to do is hurt you. But it’s still on the list.
– Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
– If I agreed with you, we’d both be wrong.
– We never really grow up; we only learn how to act in public.
– War does not determine who is right — only who is left.
– Knowledge is knowing a tomato is a fruit; wisdom is not putting it in a fruit salad.
– The early bird might get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese.
– Evening news is where they begin with ‘Good evening,’ and then proceed to tell you why it isn’t.
– To steal ideas from one person is plagiarism. To steal from many is research.
– A bus station is where a bus stops. A railway station is where a train stops. My desk is a work station.
– How is it one careless match can start a forest fire, but it takes a whole box to start a campfire?
– Dolphins are so smart that within a few weeks of captivity, they can train people to stand on the very edge of the pool and throw them fish.
– I thought I wanted a career; turns out I just wanted pay checks.
– A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.
– Whenever I fill out an application, in the part that says “If an emergency, notify:” I put “DOCTOR.”
– I didn’t say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
– Why does someone believe you when you say there are four billion stars, but check when you say the paint is wet?
– Behind every successful man is his woman. Behind the fall of a successful man is usually another woman.
– A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
– You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive more than once.
– The voices in my head may not be real, but they have some good ideas!
– Always borrow money from a pessimist.  He won’t expect it back.
– A diplomat is someone who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you will look forward to the trip.
– Hospitality:  making your guests feel like they’re at home, even if you wish they were.
– Money can’t buy happiness, but it sure makes misery easier to live with.
– I discovered I scream the same way whether I’m about to be devoured by a great white shark or if a piece of seaweed touches my foot.
– Some cause happiness wherever they go. Others whenever they go.
– There’s a fine line between cuddling and holding someone down so they can’t get away.
– I used to be indecisive. Now I’m not sure.
– When tempted to fight fire with fire, remember that the Fire Department usually uses water.
– You’re never too old to learn something stupid.
– To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and call whatever you hit the target.
– Nostalgia isn’t what it used to be.
– A bus is a vehicle that runs twice as fast when you are after it as when you are in it.
– Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

Tagna från Storyfix.

1 kommentar:

Stina sa...

Fantastiska! Tack för de skratten!