Om kärlek

Läste en artikel på Oprah.com idag. Den handlade om kärlek och hade underrubriken How can you tell who the right person is for you, eller "Eyes Wide Open: How Do You Find Love?"

Visserligen har jag kommit förbi det där akuta frågande stadiet, men artikeln befäste en del grejer som jag har gått och tänkt på och som nu sattes i ord. En annan persons ord, vackert och klatschigt uttryckta emellanåt, men som jag håller med om.

Här är några exempel på vad jag också skriver under på angående filosofin bakom den stora frågan Vem?

No one's perfect. It's time you stopped being surprised by this. The question is, Do you take this bundle of faults over some other bundle of faults?

I do.

I've also discovered that the Virtuous have their downside. A man who cannot face his own flaws or acknowledge the ugliness (not horrors—just normal human flaws: envy, jealousy, pettiness) in his nature, a man who will patiently explain, for days on end, that you should not be hurt by his behavior because he's a good guy who didn't mean to hurt you—may actually prove to be worse company, in the long run, than a guy who behaves badly from time to time and admits it. (Or at least, that's how it is for me. Deeply, Determinedly Virtuous people scare me.) As it turns out, I prefer the full boil to the long simmer and I wish I'd known it sooner.

Sen avslutar hon med att säga:

Be real and be unashamed, even of your faults. I do truly know what he's made of and vice versa. We are both people who want cutmen and foxhole buddies; we see life as wonderful and difficult and requiring energy and stamina and, occasionally, guile. We don't mind any of that. We are both bossy and demanding and largely unrepentant. We don't mind any of that. We yell. We apologize profusely. We are idiosyncratic in our tastes, and we are both quite confident that our taste is better than most people's (including each other's). We take sex and family and food seriously and organized religion not at all. We are hard to embarrass and we cry like babies. We are each what the other hoped for.