Result: Novelist
Your brilliant literary style will win over everyone. (Everyone who actually reads, that is.)
Your professional writing career will kick off when your daily blog becomes the most visited website on the Internet. (It doesn't hurt that your blog's URL is just a couple letters away from Google's.) Pretty soon, agents will be falling over each other to publish your first book: Don't Blog On Me. It'll hit the top of the bestseller charts in record time. With the proceeds, you'll buy a farm in Missouri, author 13 bestselling novels in a row, and make regular appearances on "Oprah."
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